Waking up in the bedroom next to my elderly parents in my mid-forties was not exactly what I had in mind when I married my husband. When we married, he served our community as a prominent physician. Now he is a convicted felon.
From the moment my husband went to prison, I learned quickly that life continued and I had to move forward. As a single parent, I had to be strong mentally and emotionally for my sons. I sold our personal belongings, including our home where we raised our family for many years, and our luxury vehicles. I felt blessed to move us into my parent’s home. That humbling experience taught me to appreciate the difference between things I want versus things I need.
I no longer have financial stability, which I took for granted, because my future has no safety net. I get a fear-provoking feeling sometimes about not knowing where we will end up, but that’s okay because life for me has not been a straight line. I know how fortunate I am to have learned about the importance of health, family, and budgeting. I never concerned myself with the cost of daily necessities and if I wanted an expensive handbag, then I would just go and buy it. Today I know how to get the most out of a dollar and consider myself to be a savvy shopper who loves to use coupons and find the best deals. I think about the handbags I thought I had to have before to fill a void, but I know love and laughter are truly fulfilling and they’re free.
Spending time with my so-called friends is no longer on my list of wants since my phone stopped ringing once they found out my husband went to prison. It was very disheartening finding out that friends who I thought would have been there, never even picked up the phone to call and check on my children or me. A handful of friends, some who I considered more like sisters, diminished to none. I have also learned that no one can replace precious time and life is finite, so I do not want to waste it on anyone artificial.
When we got married, I vowed to be there for my husband through better or worse, for richer or poorer, and I meant every word. His years of incarceration put our vows to the test. People would often say it would be easier on me to just walk away, but I believe it would have been much harder to walk away from love. I have become more patient, knowledgeable, self-confident, and independent through this journey. Our marriage is better than ever and it does take daily practice. Positive thoughts and words of encouragement helped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I used to think years ago on the hour of every hour how is this happening, is any of it real, somebody pinch me and wake me up! Years later, I have accepted everything that has happened and know that our lives are forever changed for the better. This adventure has been a blessing in so many ways and I know the best is yet to come.
