Resilience: 8-Emotional Intelligence 

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Resilience: 8-Emotional Intelligence

Lesson Title:

Developing Emotional Intelligence for Positive Relationships

Vocabulary Word:

Emotional intelligence – The ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions and the emotions of others, and to use this awareness to guide thinking and behavior in social interactions.

Lesson Content:

Emotional intelligence involves being aware of and effectively managing our own emotions. It also leads to better understanding and empathy with the feelings of others. By developing our emotional intelligence, we cultivate healthier relationships, improve communication, and navigate conflicts with compassion and resilience.

I’ll offer a scenario from my memories of living in a high-security federal prison. Tensions often run high in those environments, and conflicts arise frequently. 

Jake, a person with high emotional intelligence, was in a precarious situation. Two others, Alex and Ryan, engaged in a heated argument. Jake, recognizing the importance of emotional intelligence in diffusing the situation, took the following actions:

  1. Self-awareness:
    Jake acknowledged his emotions. He tried to remain calm and composed despite the tense environment of the pen. He understood that his emotional state could influence the outcome of the situation.
  2. Empathy:
    Both Alex and Ryan had their own frustrations and challenges. Jake approached the situation with empathy, attempting to grasp their underlying emotions and perspectives.
  3. Active Listening:
    Jake listened to Alex and Ryan without judging them. He encouraged them to express their concerns and frustrations. They all had an equal opportunity to express themselves, fostering a sense of understanding.
  4. Mediation:
    Jake could mediate, facilitating an open and respectful dialogue between Alex and Ryan. He encouraged them to express their grievances but helped them see each other’s point of view.
  5. Emotion Regulation:
    Jake demonstrated emotional stability and self-control. He managed his own emotions, avoiding personal biases and remaining neutral. His composed demeanor created an environment conducive to conflict resolution.
  6. Problem-solving:
    Jake guided the conversation toward identifying solutions to the underlying issues. He helpd Alex and Ryan find common ground and encouraged them to brainstorm mutually beneficial resolutions. Jake promoted cooperation and a shift away from confrontation by focusing on problem-solving.
  7. Follow-up and Support:
    After mediating the dispute, Jake followed up with Alex and Ryan individually to ensure that tensions had eased and that they had resolved the conflict. Jake’s emotional intelligence helped to de-escalate a problem, and that skill would prove highly valuable to a person in prison or after release. It requires practice, understanding, and patience.

1. Self-Awareness:

Emotional intelligence starts with self-awareness. It involves recognizing and understanding our emotions, including their triggers, patterns, and impact on our thoughts and behavior. By becoming more self-aware, we can better regulate our emotions and make conscious responses.

2. Empathy:

Empathy is a key component of emotional intelligence. It is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. By empathizing with others, we develop deeper connections, enhance communication, and build trust and rapport.

3. Emotional Regulation:

Emotional intelligence includes the skill of effectively managing and regulating our emotions. It involves recognizing and acknowledging our emotions without being overwhelmed by them, and finding healthy ways to express and cope with them.

4. Social Awareness:

Emotional intelligence extends to social awareness, which is the ability to perceive and understand the emotions and needs of others. By being attentive to non-verbal cues and actively listening, we can better understand and respond to the emotions of those around us.

5. Relationship Management:

Emotional intelligence encompasses the skill of managing relationships effectively. It involves communicating assertively, resolving conflicts constructively, and fostering positive connections based on empathy, understanding, and respect.

Questions and Activities: Answer as you deem appropriate

  • How do you understand the concept of emotional intelligence?
  • Why is emotional intelligence important for personal development, particularly during imprisonment?
  • Share an example of a time when emotional intelligence helped you navigate a challenging relationship or conflict in prison. How did it contribute to your personal growth?
  • How can developing your emotional intelligence help you prepare for building healthy relationships and resolving conflicts after release?
  • What strategies can you employ to enhance your emotional intelligence during your time in prison?


  • Reflect on a recent interaction or conflict where you could have demonstrated more emotional intelligence. Describe the emotions involved, how you responded, and the outcome of the situation. What could you have done differently to handle the situation with more emotional intelligence?
  • Identify one aspect of emotional intelligence that you would like to develop further. Write down specific actions you can take to enhance that aspect, such as practicing active listening, seeking feedback from others, or practicing self-reflection.
  • Remember, emotional intelligence is a powerful tool for personal development, building positive relationships, and resolving conflicts. By developing and nurturing your emotional intelligence during your time in prison, you equip yourself with the ability to understand and manage emotions, empathize with others, and foster healthy and fulfilling connections. These skills will serve you well in your journey towards post-release success.

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